But I'm Not the Only One
by SuchStuffasDreamsareMadeOn
Summary: Fear is meant to be logical. It’s easier to overcome when you’re not alone, unless isolation is the fear. As a young James searches for reason behind his new obsessing fear, he learns that the world of darkness and unknown is not as lonely as he thought.
1. Fall

The moon was shining bright enough over Hogwarts so the students on top of the castle could make out the spotted star chart they were supposed to be analyzing. The moon was not completely full but just full enough for the 6th year students to wish themselves to the total darkness of their own bedrooms underneath the warmth of their blankets.

Remus Lupin rubbed his eyes as he moved away from his telescope and waited for his vision to return fully. The moon had been full just last night and on top of his body healing itself, he was now trying to concentrate on his work with two, and soon to be three, days with no sleep. He attempted to focus on his work and maybe finish early so he could return to that bed he desired but his mind was not cooperating.

He turned around to ask his friends a question about the Polaris Star when he saw them in a heap at the corner of the Astronomy Tower dead asleep. Clearly, he was the only one trying.

"Well isn't this a pretty picture," Remus folded his arms and tried to look as awake as possible. He gently kicked James in the ribs. "Wake up you bums."

It took a minute even after Remus' persistent words for the boys to realize what was going on. James and Sirius had both been sitting with their backs against the wall but the long Full Moon Partying the night before had quickly put them to sleep…and caused Sirius to drop with tired head on James' shoulder, who returned this gesture by unknowingly learned his head on Sirius'. Peter, who had lost interest in looking cool long ago, had sprawled himself out across both their legs and had his thumb dangerously close to being sucked in his mouth. Well, it is kind of cute, Remus thought. Not to mention perfect blackmail later.

Sirius was the first to stir after Remus gave him another kick to the side. He bolted his head up when he saw who he was leaning on, which in turn jerked James' head awake. The both looked around, at each other, gasped, looked to Remus, then finally at Peter before they both bolted up and tried to play the situation off as nonchalantly as they could. Peter rolled off them and smacked his elbow against the hard cold surface of the tower, which caused him to spring up and join the others under the smirking glare Remus was giving them.

"Not a word," James said, as he ran his hands through his messed hair. "Did Evan's see?"

"No, she's at her telescope. But I certainly saw enough to last a lifetime." Remus let out another laugh that quickly turned itself into a yawn.

"Class, you are dismissed once handed in your constellation chart," the sound the professor's voice was heard around the corner of the tower.

"So Mooney, did we finish?"

"We? Excuse me, but I believe I finished my constellation map while you three were playing Sleeping Beauty. Now if you would pardon me I would like to catch up on some sleep." "Aw, come on Mooney," Sirius said as he wrapped his arm around the werewolf's shoulder, half in a joking matter and half as physical support. "We're all tired. We promise we'll try to do our other work from now on." Remus groaned. It was his fault they were so tired. Even though, their laziness would still be there if they hadn't joined them the night before. "Fine, but hurry up and copy it. It's cold."

James and Sirius shared a triumphant smile as James snatched the paper out of Remus' hands. Peter moaned once from the ground before getting himself up. The class was nearly gone by now and the four boys stood almost alone on the top of the Astronomy Tower on an early December night. The air was chilled and none of the Marauders expected the wind to be so fatefully strong.

"Damn, Prongs!" The map flew from James' hands and swept through the air. The four exhausted Marauders jumped for it but the parchment flew down the roof of the castle next to the tower and landed neatly on the edge.

Sirius peered over the surface to get a better look. "I don't know what's more shocking, mates. How stupid Prongs could be or the fact that Mooney said his first swear word."

"You're hilarious Padfoot. Now move aside. Wing—" "No, wait Mooney let me get it, I did screw up," James said as he pushed past his friends and broke Remus' spell. "Fine, just hurry up."

"Hey guys, what's going on?"

"Go back to sleep, Wormtail."

James took a stance and flashed his renowned half smirk to indicate he was showing off. Remus and Sirius just rolled their eyes as they heard "Wingardium Leviosa!"

The parchment began to slightly raise itself from the roof ledge and inch itself towards the boys. "Come on, Prongs. This is a first year charm," Sirius yawned as leaned his head back against the wall. "It's not me, it's the bloody wind!" James now had both hands on his wand and was trying to jerk the parchment towards him, which was now twitching.

"Prongs, let me—" "—No Mooney, I got this." James scrunched his face in determination and leaned the entire top half of his body over the tower wall that connected with the roof as he reached his arm and wand closer to the map.

"Prongs, you bloody idiot!!! Get down from there!"

"Oh come off it, Prongs. It's too late for you to play stupid."

James turned his head and gave another smirk, "Who's playing?" "James, Evans is long gone, now stop being a moron!" Sirius shrieked as he went to grab for James' robe. "Oh just keep your bloody knickers on. I almost have it." James bit his lip in concentration as he put one foot up onto the wall. The parchment was twitching closer to them. But as Sirius made a grab for his robe, another wind blew through the Astronomy Tower causing Sirius' force to change to the opposite direction.

"JAMES!"

James didn't remember falling. He did remember the tumbling. He also remembered the feel of the cold stone go through his robes and chill his skin. He could remember how dizzy he got as he rolled down the roof of Hogwarts, just falling, and then, everything went black.

No wait. James was still conscious. Or at least he thinks he was. He tried to move his fingers. Yes, they still worked. But what just happened? One minute he was tumbling with those stupid constellations mocking him in the sky above, hearing his friends desperately call for him, and the next…he was surrounded by total darkness.

"Padfoot?!" Nothing. "Mooney?!" He stood himself off the ground. "Wormtail?!" Wait, why was there ground beneath him. He should have fallen to his death. "Anybody?!" James looked through the darkness and blinked his eyes, still convincing himself that he wasn't dead. He took a breath and then a step forward. He took two more until he hit into a stone wall.

"Well, at least I'm not dead. But where the hell am I?" He put his hand to the wall. "And why the hell am I talking to myself."

Suddenly, James felt his knees buckle underneath him. Without realizing it, warm tears flowed down his face. Where in the name of Merlin was he? James had never remembered a time in his life where he was scared. Even when he felt this annoying emotion, he just played it off and let his ego overpower it. But he was alone. Absolutely and utterly alone. He couldn't even hear his friends calling him anymore. Maybe he had died…

"Damn it!" The sound of his voice echoed off the stone walls. Okay just think! Mooney keeps telling me to do that more often. "The only way I could have gotten here is by falling, right? So there must be an exit above me." He titled his head but no light could be seen. "I'm surrounded by walls, the only way must be up. Damn, I have got to stop talking to myself!"

But without admitting it, James knew that the sound of his own voice was actually keeping him sane right now. The sound of anything human, even if it was his own self, reminded him of the world he was in just 5 minutes ago. Had it been 5 minutes? It seemed shorter than that. Maybe it was more. Was he losing the sense of time?  
A growl formed in his throat until it emerged as a full blown scream. "SIRIUS BLACK YOU BETTER GET MY ASS OUT OF THIS FORSAKEN HELL HOLE OR I'LL SKIN YOUR SORRY HIDE!"

But not even an echo answered him this time. Not a sound was made after the last word left his mouth. He was truly alone.


	2. Fear

"Damn it, damn it, damn it! What the hell is taking so long?"  
"I know this must be hard, Mr. Black, but you must be patient right now. We are doing everything we can," Professor McGonagall said as she peered over the wall where a few fellow professors had suspended themselves in a search. "And I would ask you to watch your language Mr. Black."

"Well, that's not bloody good enough! He can't just have apparated so why AREN'T YOU FINDING HIM?!"

Sirius' hands balled up into a fist as he clenched his teeth to prevent himself from furthering his rampage. He felt hand place itself on his shoulder and he turned to see Remus holding back his own emotions. Any other time when he was angry, Sirius would have pushed the hand off. He didn't need anyone calming him down. He didn't need anyone to make him feel better. But he hated to admit that the simple gesture was actually helping. He wouldn't tell Remus that but he let the hand stay.

McGonagall sighed. She should have been lecturing the students while they waited to hear news but she knew that there was a time and place for everything. The time for lecturing would be for when Mr. Potter was safe and sound in his own bed.  
Suddenly, a head appeared over the wall caused all three of them to jump. "Professor, I think we found something." "What? Where is he?" Sirius raised his head and barked at the teacher he didn't recognize. Was it a teacher?

"Now we don't know for sure, but there's some sort of pit or hole before the edge of the roof. But it seems to be protected by some sort of spell."

McGonagall's eyes fell to the ground as if searching for something. Sirius and Remus looked at her and then at one another. Only the wind made sound for what seemed like forever. "Professor?" Remus said, breaking the silence.

Just then Professor Dumbledore burst through the Tower door with a clearly out of breath Peter close behind. "Minerva, what seems to be the problem? All I could get out of Mr. Pettigrew here was that young Mr. Potter managed to throw himself off the roof?"

Both Sirius and Remus gasped in disgust and stared Peter down, if only to momentarily get their minds off the current matter. Peter, bent over with his hands on his knees, looked up at the boys and panted, "That's…not…what I said…I think…"

McGonagall, now seeming a lot calmer, said, "It seems as though he has fallen into a Night Crevasse, which thank Merlin was so fortunate."

"Fortunate?!" Sirius spat out. "How the blimey…(he muttered to himself the full out swears he intended to scream)…is that fortunate?! Where is he?!"

"I'm afraid there's no time to explain, Mr. Black," Dumbledore said as he pulled out his wand. "But let me assure you that Mr. Potter will be alright. But come now, we have no time to lose. Mr. Potter must be getting pretty worried." Dumbledore raised his wand and white beams shot from the ends and surrounded the Astronomy Tower. "Mr. Pettigrew, if you would be so kind to get Madame Pomfrey here if you please. Mr. Potter may need some assistance. Professor, when you're ready." McGonagall nodded and before anyone could say a word, the two professors were gone.

"Uh!" Sirius stood there with his mouth hanging open. He looked around before running over the edge of the tower. "Remus look! Peter what the hell are you doing? Go!" Poor Peter looked up again before rolling his eyes and running back down the tower stairs.

The two boys stood there as the wind somehow continued to blow by them, chilling their bodies along with their spirits. It was probably only a few minutes that the professors had been gone but it like much, much longer. Finally, with a small _pop!_ the two teachers appeared in front of them holding a very shaken boy in between.

"James!" Sirius ran over, unsure if to hug the boy or beat him.

He chose the latter. "If you EVER do something so STUPID every again, I swear to Merlin, I will KILL YOU!" He punched him again in the arm but stopped dead in his swing as his best friend lifted his head. James' body may have been safe in front of him but the soul of his friend was lost in those eyes. Those enormous eyes looked up at Sirius and showed the fear that had felt himself just moments before.

Finally, life returned behind the eyes and James smiled up at Sirius before bear tackling him in an embrace. Sirius stood there stunned for a moment before wrapping his own arms around James. Remus at this time had run just behind Sirius when he saw his friend was unharmed but had also froze at the sight of his eyes. He now stood there watching his friend's rather odd reaction before seeing James' arm shoot out and drag him into the distorted hug. Again, time had no meaning at that moment, but all that seemed to really matter was that they were all there.

* * *

"Professor, what in the—!"

"—Professor, what happened? What happened to James?" Remus quickly interrupted Sirius before his friend's anger and words could get them into trouble…again. The two boys were standing in the Hospital Wing with Dumbledore and McGonagall as they watched James shudder in his sleep in a bed in front of them. Peter had finally rejoined the group and had collapsed himself in the bed next to James as he wheezed to catch his breath.

McGonagall sighed as she looked at the young Potter toss in his sleep. The look the boy had given only moments ago had etched itself in the back of her mind. It was Dumbledore who finally broke the silence.

"Let's take a walk, shall we? We'll let your friend here rest for the night, have Madame Pomfrey look him over, and I'll return you three to your dorm for the night. You all look as if you could use a good night's sleep." Dumbledore looked the boys over and stopped his gaze on Remus at his last statement. Remus broke the stare by looking at the floor but quickly changed his mind when the floor began to move beneath him.

The boys were too tired to protest so (after pushing Peter along with them) they followed Dumbledore out to the hall and waited for him to close the door behind him. "Now," he said with a great gesture. "I believe you have some questions for me?"

"What the hell just happened? Why didn't James fall? Where was he and who in the bloody hell did that to him?" Sirius' mind and body were running purely on anger at that moment; anger he got from seeing the pain in his best friend's eyes.

"You might just want to tell us what you know, from the beginning," Remus said with a sigh as he placed his hand on Sirius' shoulder. Sirius had finally ran out of energy and let Remus lead him like a zombie as they started their way through the dead quiet school towards the Gryffindor Tower.

Dumbledore nodded. "When Hogwarts was first build—"

"—Ummm, Professor, I don't think he meant that beginning."

The old man laughed to himself as he folded his hands behind his back and looked ahead. "Not to worry Mr. Black, my story does in fact have some relevance to it. Now as I was saying, when our school was first constructed our founders placed several hidden details around the castle for precautionary measures. Now, they never expected any great force of evil to attack our school but nonetheless, felt the need to add defenses for the safety of its students."

Remus felt himself grow more lost in the headmaster's words and his hand soon slipped off Sirius' shoulder. He hoped it wasn't a long story.

"Now one of the many defenses added to Hogwarts are what known as Night Crevasse. They are installed along the edges of the roofs every few feet or so. The idea is that Aurors or fighters would hide within these traps without being seen by the enemy and then attack them from an aerial position when they least expect it. But these Night Traps also had another purpose."

Stay awake, stay awake. Sirius was losing the internal fight of what held more importance right then: knowing what happened to James or unconsciousness.

"When a person falls to the pit of a Night Crevasse, they are completely blocked off from any sound or sight from the outside world. This served to catch opposing attackers off guard or a place to store airborne prisons. Now luckily, these traps have not been necessary to this present day but I must say that your friend has been the first real person to experience them. I promise you he should be fine but he did seem rather spooked by the experience the last we saw him so you might want to keep notice of any strange behavior. I hear that it's quite an unpleasant experience. Ah and here we are!"

Dumbledore's last words were the ones to return the boys to the land of the living. The three looked towards the Fat Lady portrait and could almost feel the warm beds that awaited them.

"Peppered Fig!" The Fat Lady nodded and the passage swung open. "Goodnight boys and please do enjoy your Saturday!" Then with a chuckle and a swish of his robes, Dumbledore left them.

It took a minute for Sirius and Remus to roll Peter into the doorway but eventually gave up and left him on the Common Room couch. Sirius felt his mattress get closer and closer but stopped on the staircase to give a hand to Remus as he slipped on a step and collapsed. Finally, the two made it up their room and fell to their beds without another word or sound as they drifted.


	3. Fellowship

When the Marauders woke up, they found the Gryffindor Tower to be empty and the day to be 2:00 in the afternoon. Something different they found was the sight of a sleeping James in the bed next to them. He was tossing and turning almost violently in his bed and a small bead of sweat was making its way down his face. Sirius Black did a double take before throwing the blankets off himself and jumping onto his friend's bed.

"Prongs, Prongs? Bloody hell, James, wake up!" Sirius grabbed James' shoulder and began to shake the moaning boy who continued to toss recklessly. Sirius finally gave him a hard shove that had enough force to topple himself over and that startled his friend awake. Unfortunately, the boy was so startled he fell out of his bed and let out a petrifying scream.

The entirety of Sirius' body froze from that scream. "James?!" Sirius thought he had spoken these words but when he saw Remus run by him to the other side of the bed, he realized his mouth could not move either.

"James mate, are you okay? What happened?" Remus bent down and pulled James back up to the side of his bed. He looked back and forth between the twin terrified faces of James and Sirius. He wasn't sure who he should comfort first.

"James?" Peter snuck up behind them and found his way to the other side of the bed.

James looked around at the faces staring at him and his face clicked back to the reality that was living around him. "Oh…yeah mates, I'm good." He picked up his glasses from the side table and ruffled a hand through his knotted hair. "Do you usually feel the need to push me completely out of bed while I'm still sleeping, Padfoot?"

Sirius' face melted with the familiar tone of his friends' voice and his mindset returned to the world. He let an awkward laugh escape before Remus brought about an even truer reality. "James, what happened last night? You scared the living hell out of us!" Peter squeaked in agreement and began to repeatedly nod his head up and down.

For just a second, Sirius saw the fear flicker in James' eye but he went away as quickly as it had appeared. "No really, I'm fine…it was just a bit freaky…I'm okay. Oww!" James rubbed the side of his arm where Sirius just struck him. "You better thank Merlin you're okay cause if you hadn't bloody killed yourself you should have known that I would." The three friends began to laugh but Sirius face remained unchanged.

"Oh, looks like you hit a soft spot, Prongs," Remus said with another laugh. "The fearless Padfoot doesn't show them too often."

"Oh, shut up."

"So what was it like in the Trap thing?" They all turned to hear the first words Peter had spoken all day. The dark actuality seemed to sink back into James' features.

"Umm…well dark, obviously…and I honestly hadn't the faintest bloody clue what the hell was going on." James shyly laughed along with what he said. "But there was something else to it too." The smile faded along with those of his friends. "Remember those Demented things we learned about in Defense? ('Dementors', Remus piped in.) Whatever, but remember how we learned they sucked happiness…and stuff? Oh just forget it." The Mauraders could sense the uncomfortable tone in James' voice but that didn't stop them from prodding.

"Oh come on, Prongs, what happened?"

James ran his hand through his hair again and stared out the window. He finally turned back to the eager faces in front of him and said, "It was…it just felt like…I was abandoned. Like I fell into some hell, but be the one who was ever there."

If the boys thought the situation was uncomfortable before, they had no idea how to describe their current one. The sound of feet below them could be heard and each Marauder tried to concentrate on that just to ease the ill silence that entered the room. To the surprise of all, it was Peter who spoke first.

"I know what that's like. People used to abandon me all the time. It feels horrible being alone but don't worry. The feeling gets more bearable over time."

* * *

Remus sighed as he gathered his books on the library table and took one more look at his lost friend. To a stranger, it would seem as though James was studying very intently for the Charms assignment that was due on Monday but to anyone who remotely knew who James was, knew his mind was on something else. Grant it, he would study last minute and do almost perfectly like always, but Remus tried to find the courage to bring up the subject about what was really bothering James.

After Peter's snide comment, Sirius proceeded to beat the living crap out of him. Remus and James stood amazed as Sirius started shouting things about "idiotic—mushroom—brain" and "he doesn't— have to feel alone unless—he had friends with your—encouragement skills." Remus attempted to break up the fight but unfortunately for them the sound of feet they heard moments before where those of Lily Evans who did not hesitate to flash her prefect's badge. After ignoring more failed attempts to the now normal James to go out with him, she informed the situation to the closest teacher who quickly sent Peter to the Hospital Wing and Sirius to a Saturday detention. Remus, unsure of what to do with a very disoriented James, put his faith in books and the two of them have been in the library since then.

The only problem was that Remus knew James wasn't going to openly tell him how he was feeling. Remus had to pry it out some way or another.

Unfortunately, Remus didn't like to beat around the bush. "So I know you're claiming to be okay but you're going to have to say something eventually. If you get any more depressed people might start confusing you with Snape." James rolled his eyes but let his famous smirk show through. "Look, I appreciate the thought Mooney, but this isn't really my thing."

Remus sighed and nodded. "Okay, that's cool. So do you know how much my life sucked before coming to Hogwarts?" The bluntness of the question caught James off guard. "Well, I suppose your furry little problem would be a good enough reason to despise life."

"Yeah it really was. And not just on full moon night either. The world knew what I was and they made it their mission that I didn't have any human contact for the first 11 years of my life."

"Damn, Mooney," James said as he shook his head. "You know we feel guilty about your life and I know what I experienced is nothing compared to what you lived—" "—cool it Prongs, I'm not trying to put you on a guilt trip. I'm just saying that you're not the only one who's ever felt that way. You know I'm only here to help. I at least owe you that."

"Look, I fell off the roof and into a dark hole. I freaked a little bit but I'm fine." James looked away and tightened his fist. How selfish would he be to talk about his problems with Remus? Remus had gone through—and still goes through—so much…trouble…James would seem like a total git.

And speak of the devil.

A book fell from the shelf in front of them and the empty space was now filled with the face of no other then Severus Snape. Snape sneered at the pale, horrified face of Remus and the hate filled and loathing one of James before he darted away.

"You ease dropping slime bucket! Get back here so I can use your own greasy, filthy hair to fill up those bloody rotten ears of yours!"


	4. Forest

"Uh, Prongs. You know you're my best mate but you're standing a little too close to be comfortable at the moment."

"Huh?" James' mind snapped back into the Potion's lesson to find himself hovering not only over the cauldron but over a very confused Sirius. "Oh sorry, mate."

But before Sirius could say anything else, a loud snicker could be heard from across the room. Both boys looked up and saw Severus whispering something to Lily and her Potion's partner, Victoria. Lily stood there with wide eyes in disbelief but Victoria quickly turned to the group next to her and more laughter could be heard throughout the chamber.

"Damn it," James cursed under his breath and turned back to Sirius. "Snivellous heard me and Mooney talk about The Fall yesterday in the library. Now that big prick is telling the whole school." For a second, James saw Lily turn her head towards him. But once she saw that he was already looking at her, her shocked face turned red and she quickly returned to the cauldron in front of her.

"Why that good for nothing—he's going to wish he's never been born!" Sirius crushed the roots that were unlucky to be in his fist and threw them in the concoction without even looking. A cloud of black smoke exploded from their cauldron as the class turned to gasp and the two friends were knocked to the floor.

"Oh my!" Professor Slughorn, along with Remus and Peter, ran up to their table. "Are you boys alright?" James coughed as the smoke began to disappear and wide eyed Peter tried to help him up. He wished the smoke had stayed though for then he saw a very greasy sight.

"Oh yes Potter," Snape sneered loud enough for the class to hear. "We wouldn't want you to take another nasty descent."

James stood there petrified as the whole class began to break out in laughter. He turned to Sirius and saw a very uneasy Remus trying hard to hold him back.

"Okay class, you are dismissed for the day, and I expect you're papers on this Potion's antidote turned in by next class. Have a good day."

The four boys gathered their belongings but Peter had to help hold onto Sirius as Snape passed them by with a glare. James just stood there and tried to make sense of it all. Too much was happening at once and he…he couldn't really think straight. They began their way outdoor Care of Magical Creatures lesson they had that day in an almost silence.

"James?" Remus asked as they walked out the castle door. He waited until a group of students walked by to ask. "Yesterday in the library…we were talking about the other things besides…you know what…um…and you know…my…problem. Do you think Snape heard that?" James looked up for the first time from leaving the Potion's dungeon and turned to his very pale friend. "No," he said despite his own insurance. "You know Snivellus, if he heard something worth telling people, he would have blabbed already."

"Which is why that git better watch his misshaped back," Sirius spat as they approached their class.

The Marauders were too caught in their personal thoughts to hear what Professor Kettleburn was saying. Only a few words seemed to catch his attention, "Working…alone…in…Forest."

Crap. James' ears finally opened. "Dumbledore gives me special permission every year to enter when I give this assignment. It will help you greatly with your N.E.W.T.s. Now please take your tracking map and find your designated spot to begin."

James looked around as everyone began to gather their supplies. He followed suit and tried to act uninterested in what was going on. He took a map and read the top. 'Use your knowledge to find a Pixie in the Forbidden Forest. DO NOT go any further then has been indicated on your map. First person to find one wins 20 House Points.' Well, thank Merlin Kettleburn likes to emphasize important points.

When James looked up from the map, he was shocked to see that the space around him was empty. He heard some giggles and crunching tree branches but not a single student could be seen outside the forest.

He was alone.

"Off your go, Potter." Kettleburn put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a polite push in. James tripped over his own foot and stumbled along unwillingly. It was just a 40 minute class. He could do this.

He turned around and gasped as he realized he couldn't see where he had entered. His feet were walking by themselves but to where he had no idea. He stopped and looked at his map again. Okay, just look for Pixie signs. That shouldn't be too hard. They're pretty noisy creatures. Plus they leave that stuff on trees, right? Or maybe that was fairies…?

Damn it! He was James Potter. He's rode brooms hundreds of feet into the air and performed amazing magic while pulling off the grades and tons of girls loved him. Why couldn't he just forget that stupid black hole?! He suddenly felt tired again and sat down against a tree as he tried to focus his crazed mind on getting the hell out of there.

The sound of leaves made James jump back up and draw his wand. He wasn't sure what to expect in this place. He certainly didn't expect who is actually was.

"Potter?" James smiled. He always liked the way his names rolled off Lily Evan's tongue. The fear and loneliness seemed to melt away at his name. She stared there in surprise for a moment. She opened her mouth to say something but then turned around and started to leave.

"Lily, wait!"

Lily stood there in shock for the second time in ten seconds. Lily? She had never heard James use her actual name before. She almost liked the way it sounded…almost. She turned around and saw briefly a desperate look in his face. There stood a boy she hadn't known for 6 years. He looked concerned…and maybe scared.

She realized she should say something. "We're…suppose to work alone…"

"I know. But can you please not go?"

"Potter, if this is some other crazy attempt to—"

"—it's not."

She turned again and tried to find something in his face. This is certainly not what she expected to happen today. But then she remembered something.

"You're really freaked out aren't you?"

Damn pride. James couldn't say anything. He couldn't admit it if he wanted to.

But Lily just stood there. "Stay 10 steps behind me, no more. And don't even try anything funny or I'll bewitch you to the lake. That big head of yours will surely make you sink to the bottom with the squid."


	5. Friends

"Well, I must say Padfoot, this certainly is a new look for you."

Sirius looked up from his composure of teenage angst and scuffled along the hallway.

"We'll never mention this again."

Remus and Peter laughed. Even James broke from his thoughts of Lily to laugh at his friend's misfortune. During Sirius' great Pixie expedition, he had managed to piss off the only one he could find by grabbing it by the head. The Pixie did not like this at all. So it proceeded to pick Sirius up by his ears and deposit him into a tree branch. But it didn't say its goodbyes until it sprinkled some powdery, pink dust all over him.

"This blimey stuff won't come off. I'm going to have to bath til I'm a prune!"

"Oh thank, Merlin, it's about time!"

"Oh shut up."

It felt good to laugh. James had to just keep reminding himself that. He wasn't alone. He wasn't the only one who…

A group of Ravenclaw girls walked by in their usual giggling herd and burst into laughter when they saw Sirius. "Damn it! Come on Prongs, help me get this damn stuff off." James just smirked to himself and followed his friend to the bathroom. Much to their luck, the room was empty and Sirius immediately went to the sink where he almost threw himself in.

"Wow, Pad, don't drown yourself," James laughed as he approached the area that now had a 5 foot radius of water surrounding it. "Prongs, I'm pink. Do you even know how this will affect the fan club?" "Ah, you're so selfless, Padfoot. Always thinking of others."

The two tried for a good 15 minutes to scrub Sirius' robes, hair and face, but the powder had now stained itself on all three. They were able to get some off but Sirius still resembled a Pygmy Puff.

"Oh just screw it. I can find a way to pull it off. Just you wait by tomorrow all of the guys will be wearing…pink." James laughed, "I think you have a losing cause there, Pads."

The two boys stood there in a momentary silence as Sirius tried to dry himself off.

"Hey…you're okay and all right? I mean with that whole falling off the roof thing?"

James didn't expect that. "Um…yeah, it was kinda weird especially with that pit but I'm good. Surprised you haven't killed me yet though."

Sirius smiled. "Yeah, I'm still working on that so don't think you're safe. But you're good?"

"I'm good."

"Cool."

As the boys conspicuously made their way out of the bathroom, they were shocked to see a very worried Peter run up to them, collide against them, and then fall to the floor.

"Bloody hell, Wormtail, what's going on?"

"You…better hurry…" And with that he ran back off in the opposite direction. James and Sirius exchanged a glance and then quickly chased after him. When they ran down two halls and turned three corners, James was certain that it was just Peter being…well Peter. But as they came to the end of their third hall, he saw what the big commotion was about.

A crowd of people were gathered at the end of the hall and from what they boys could see, Snape was the Ring Leader of the affair.

Snape? No one liked Snape. Why would anyone listen to what he had to say? Unless…

The voices became clearer as they pushed their way through from the back of the crowd. "And it's no wonder Potter couldn't keep himself on solid ground. His head probably tilted him over the edge." The sound of laughter echoed the hall, mostly from the Slytherins in the crowd. James turned to Sirius, "Why do people keep insulting my head? Is it really that big? And is it in the conceited sense or the physical sense, cause then we might have a problem." Sirius was about to respond when they heard a familiar voice say, "Severus, I'm sure the world has better things to do right now then listen to a story you weren't even there to witness. Now if you don't mind, I would appreciate it if you would stop bashing my friend, which to you seems to be some sort of sick enjoyment." They were almost to the front now. Peter started to get lost in the crowd but James and Sirius didn't even seem to notice.

"Well, Lupin, it seems you would know something or other about being sick, now wouldn't you?"

At last, James and Sirius had broken to the front where they saw Snape with a sinister smirk having a glare-off with a crossed arm Remus, who was trying to look more courageous then he really was feeling. "Alright, Snivellus, you had your fun. Now back off," James began to enjoy his own newfound courage. Screw you, Night—whatever it was called.

Snape broke his glare but continued his twisted grin at the new arrivals. "Why don't you make me, Potter." James and Sirius drew their wands. They were ready. But to their surprise, Snape turned around and began to run down the hall. The two exchanged a look. That wasn't expected. But nonetheless with their wands at the ready, they chased after him with Remus and Peter shortly in tow. The crowd, now seeing there wasn't going to be a fight, quickly dispersed from their lack of entertainment.

"What the—?" Snape had turned the corner and ran into the closest classroom. James and Sirius looked at each other again before following him. Sirius pulled out his wand and opened the door. Something wasn't right…

The classroom they entered was bigger than they thought. The desk had been pushed aside and a huge floor stood before them but there wasn't a sign of Snape anywhere. "Where did that bugger…" Sirius' words trailed with his thoughts. Remus and Peter quickly entered behind them, their wands at the ready. James took a step forward to get a better look at the room. He was about to pull out his own wand when everything went black.

Instinct over came thought and fear overcame reason. James gasped as he tried to find his hand in front of him. "James?"

"Expelliamus!"

The voice was unmistakable. Snape led them into a humiliating trap. James heard as three wands clattered against the floor. A wicked laugh filled the dark room. They were trapped. He heard the sound of Peter squeaking somewhere.

James fell to his knees and held onto the solid ground beneath him. He tried to concentrate on his breathing. He could do this.

"Snape, I swear I will murder you, now turn the lights on!" Sirius' voice echoed. "I'm going to—ow, damn it!" A blue light had traveled through the darkness and made contact. Light. And voices. It was different this time.

"Severus, let's try to mature about this—hey!" Another light.

Light. That was it. James still had his wand. He could do this. He felt his hand shake beneath him. He just had to let go of the ground. He just had to reach into his pocket and…

"LUMOS!"

It was as though the darkness had crept back into the corner from where it came. James had to adjust his eyes but he saw the shape of his friends blocking their faces and Severus Snape looking as he would burn on the spot. But in response his friends picked up their wands and they all made their way to where Severus now coward in fear.

"Hey Snivellus. Where's that persistent attitude of yours now?" James saw Sirius sneer beside him." You thought you could poke at a weak spot and use it against someone. How low could you get? You're just a slimy git. Too bad you don't have any friends to help you. Now let's see if we can clean you up a bit, shall we?"

* * *

Years after these events, three men stared through the darkness until they found their past. They focused on the times of glory they once lived but found that they could do nothing for the present. A memory is not a feeling, there's no way to relive the past. The memories couldn't change their feelings when the harsh reality they lived in set back in. So much could happen in only a few years. One man could find himself a traitor on the other side of war without knowing how it happened with only the desire to live. One man could find himself lost in personal pain and suffering as if his school years were only a break from the way his life was really suppose to be lived. And one man could find himself in Azkaban, where any happiness he ever knew was sucked from his soul and the past or future held no importance. They all knew the meaning of pain and darkness. Each one knew what it was like to find himself suddenly alone. But they weren't the only ones to know how it felt…


End file.
